friendship · grace · kids · life · motherhood · parenting · wisdom

about that elf…


Hey Little Mama…

I have earned my place to say something to you. Yes. Yes I have. I’ve birthed and raised 3 babies…I’ve got the stretch marks to prove it…some of those being on my breastages.  I nursed them a grand total of 29.5 months…that is almost, and might as well be, 3 years of my life devoted to a child being clamped to my boob as a life source. My nipples have been bitten by angry teeth breaking through resistant gums. That in itself is enough…but for you…I’ll go on. I potty trained. The day I gave birth to #3 I looked at her…as she was lying on my stomach…fresh from the comfort of my womb…I looked at her and said, Oh my gosh…you’re going to have to be potty trained.

I survived two kids having chicken pox in unison…cleaned up multiple rounds of 2 AM vomit and could magically awake from the deepest sleep with the sound of a simple cough that signifies, someone is about to hurl up in here.  I’ve garrisoned the mean girls and threatened my own if I ever found out they were doing the mean-ing. I’ve been in the same room with 3 daughters in 3 different moods and we all 4 lived to tell about it. So, before I encourage your heart…I just wanted you to know I’m not coming from an unknown place, but a place of knowing.

I’ve been there, done that, bought the fairy.

What I haven’t done…and I’m so sorry you’re having to…is deal with the Social Medianites…the moms who not only have it all together but look good while having it. They are sporting a six pack set of abs just six weeks after delivery and teach barre classes while their nanny teaches their baby child a dual language program. They live in the perfect house with the perfect nursery…they have perfect hair and perfect lashes and perfect skin…their instagram feed looks like the pages of a magazine and their clothes and shoes are so cute you must “like to know it”.

How do you compete?

You don’t.

Sweet Girls…

My heart breaks for you. This world is jacked up….Jacked up on self-glorification and self- branding. Look at ME and MY life.

Don’t you wish your momma was hot like me?

It’s just too much. I want to gather you all up in my living room with your thinning hair and thinning nerves…with your low self-esteem and dark circles under your eyes…I want to scoop you up and hug you tight and tell you with tears in my eyes how fast this time will fly and beg you to STOP THE MADNESS.

You are so beautiful. You gave this world a LIFE! Because of YOU and your love for your child our world will continue with individuals who are filled with the love of a mom…a mom who willingly placed the needs of her child above her own. I’m talking to the moms but if a daddy bear is reading this, I see you. I hear you. I am blown away by the intentionality and hands on of some of the dads out there! YOU ROCK and you are WELCOME AT OUR HUG FEST FOR TIRED PARENTS. Parenting is the closest thing to sacrificing your own life that you will ever experience and even though it’s more difficult than anything you’ve ever, ever done…I can tell you IT’S SO WORTH IT.


So…about this flippin’ fairy…this pain in the patootie pixie…this elf on a dang shelf.

Settle down. Once again…because of social media and the look inside the lives that others want you to see, you are feeling the pressure to perform. That elf will only move if you move him and your child will only expect of you what you let them think they can expect…You are more in charge than you are giving yourself credit. PLEASE stop.

We had elves…we did. Sylvia and Sylvester. But we were PEOS…Pre Elf On Shelf. We just thought they were cute and every now and then we had them eat a bite out of a cookie or climb to the top of the Christmas tree. They would remain stationary unless I decided to move them…and when they DID move, it was MY joy to see the girls search for them, and then THEIR joy to find them and giggle…

Honey…you need more giggle in your Christmas.

If that elf is bringing you tidings of great joy…carry on…but if it’s wearing you out and making you feel less than because you forgot to make snow angels in powdered sugar last night…you need to chill. And I mean NOW.  All your attempts at perfection for the perfect instagram post are only making us all crazy. Don’t you think we’ve got enough crazy?…

This month is going to fly by and everything after that will, too.

Your babies just want your laughter…your comfort…and your joy.

And I just wanted you to know…

love gina









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