grace · life · marriage · wisdom

…the date night post

Okay. So here we go…

It’s Saturday…one week from the date that ended a lot worse than it began.

Date night is customary and welcomed in our house. It was an unspoken clause in our marital agreement to be friends and date and spend time together. We both savor time spent together…it’s our dual love language. We dated 14 months long distance prior to me moving to Baton Rouge, so once we found ourselves in the same zip code it was on! We are intentional about it…documenting unapologetically with selfies on the gram like a couple of teenagers. We keep it simple. A dinner somewhere new…we love good weather and a patio…perhaps a movie. Nothing fancy, and if you raise chickens you can bet those chickens on us being home and in bed by 10:00.

You think we’re boring?

We are NOT boring and we are also FAR from perfect. We fight sometimes. Say what?! Yep. Sorry to burst your Kurt and Gina bubble, but The Millers squabble. We are crazy in love and the best of friends, but we brought to the Marriage Table 40 plus years of living, a combination of 3 failed marriages, and a few too many stupid relationships gone wrong. We have context. We have precedence. We have some crap.

We were not squabbling last Saturday when I received a text around 11:00 AM, asking me to please be ready by 7:40. He made reservations at a restaurant I’d been wanting to try and I was truly looking forward to it! We both got fancied up a tad bit more than usual and headed out. The place was not what we expected thus generating a lot of inside jokes and laughter between a couple of friends. We were feeling super 50…We could not hear one another or our waiter over the ratio of noise inside the joint. We could not read the menu. We left our readers at the house so the 6 point font on the menus left us to trust our server’s suggestions. Our expectations fell a little flat but the biggest surprise of the night came five minutes before we left…

Kurt asked for the check and our waiter said I needed to go to the Ladies Room and get a selfie before we leave…he went on to explain that the words Hello Gorgeous were inverted on the wall and of course once you selfie they show up correctly and I can hashtag the restaurant and blah blah blah…I needed to wash my hands anyway so I take Kurt’s phone and head that way. I wash my hands. I take a selfie. I look down to critique the photo and a text pops up:

Hey! It’s Jen. I’m in town on Sunday and I’d love to see you! I know you’re missing me too.

What? Unfortunately, I can see this font. I read it again. Same thing I saw the first time.

I sit down on the bench provided in the bathroom, supposing it’s positioned for everyone that falls prey to shock and horror. My relationship flashes before my eyes. I’m not exaggerating. Every fuss and fight magnified and I immediately thought…I deserve this. I was crazy to think I could trust anyone…Satan destroyed my first marriage and now he was coming for this one in the opposite direction. I was shaking. I exit the bathroom and see Kurt’s face smiling back at me…so handsome…sitting there clueless as to what has just happened. I’m already hurting and dreading the inevitable conversation that awaits us both.

Flash forward 3 whole minutes. We are now in the truck. I’m asking who Jen is. He is saying he does not know who this is and it has to be the wrong number. I’m feeling sick. My heart is already hurting…physically hurting.

Another text comes through.

And another….

Then a photo of a girl lifting her shirt to reveal her bra and breasts…then another…

If you love us, you are now hurting for us. And thank you for loving us. But stay with me…the story ends well and it was a story I knew in my heart I had to tell…

Turns out. It was a scam. An attempt to get you to click on a link that follows the messages and images. Being the CIA agent I am, I research the number to find an article using the same exact images and information that if sent this text you should delete because it’s a mix between a scam and marketing scheme derived to get users to click on a link leading to a camming site. Which of course costs money and asks for payment information and so on…

I don’t want to put the link in my article but you can search “texting scams, Pennsylvania Jen” and read it for yourself.

Here’s the deal. I went to bed disheartened….even after I knew the truth. I woke on Sunday and knew I had to write. I thought about how many other couples might get hit with this nasty porn peddler as Kurt called him, and not recover. Couples hanging on by a very thin thread and this could be the one stupid thing that calls one or both of them to throw in the towel and call it quits. The accusations that will get tossed back and forth and the perfectly good evenings that will be hijacked by the devil himself. I think about the young children already struggling with the images being flung in their faces and now this *?&!{ is coming through their phones as spam. I am disgusted with all things disgusting.

Jesus…you can come on now. We ready for ya.

AND. I want to find that girl in the picture and bring her home with me and tell her she is worth more than she could ever possibly know and pray and pray and pray she comes to believe it. Damn anyone who subjects a child to lewd acts for profit.

I don’t know who this is for, or why I have to write and share the ugly parts… but I do. It’s my job. I thanked God for allowing that message to come through Kurt’s phone so I could hopefully stop some madness in your family before it starts by sharing our story. It took me a week to write it out…I could chase some rabbits on this topic and there is definitely more I could say…but for now.

I love you. I’m praying for you. Stay Faithful. Stay Alert. Be Kind.

1 Peter 5:8-11 MSG: Keep a cool head. Stay alert. The Devil is poised to pounce, and would like nothing better than to catch you napping. Keep your guard up. You’re not the only ones plunged into these hard times. It’s the same with Christians all over the world. So keep a firm grip on the faith. The suffering won’t last forever. It won’t be long before this generous God who has great plans for us in Christ—eternal and glorious plans they are!—will have you put together and on your feet for good. He gets the last word; yes, he does.

One thought on “…the date night post

  1. This happened to us last year on my husband’s phone. When he got home, he showed me the texts. I took that phone, with my heart pumping out of my chest, and I texted the girl back. And it turned out to be a scam. Auto-generated responses and links to a paid livecam. But I know that horrible feeling of distrust and “what if this is real” moments. I took to Facebook with the story too because it hurt my feelings and I didn’t want others to experience that gut-wrenching moment without a warning. I love your honesty and thank you for sharing this. You guys are #relationshipgoalz ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

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